Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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