My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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