theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
