They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
