Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
