2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
