Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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