Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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