Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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