He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just tell him i said nine months
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's never too late to be topless.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
