I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
