Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Two words: blizzard sex
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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