guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am naked and annoyed.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
