wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
