Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
