if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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