note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
