What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
