hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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