There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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