Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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