its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
