We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
