eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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