do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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