what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
