i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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