Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
