I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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