May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
As shirtless as possible
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
