Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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