I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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