I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
