Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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