I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She even gives head with a lisp.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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