Midget sex pt 2 tonight
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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