When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
