He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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