i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
