honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
