Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
