i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
