You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
