I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
