Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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