im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
