oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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