Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
