Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
