i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
