Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it because I queefed?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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