but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I did not marry a roomba.
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