she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
