Where is the hickey?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
